Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize