remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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