i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
