And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
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I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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