We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
