whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
