Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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