That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
