Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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