Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
