Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
