My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
