You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
