it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have tasted many bathrooms
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
