I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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