discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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