"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
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Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
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I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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