Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
