I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
