I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
