It's like God shit irony all over that family
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
