What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
