there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
