I will die if light touches me.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
