Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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(847): View more from Illinois

so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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(757): View more from Virginia

it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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(239): View more from Florida

they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

When are you comin back?

(1-253): View more from Washington

probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons

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(830): View more from Texas

Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester

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(916): View more from California

I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...

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(334): View more from Alabama

After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!

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