Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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