sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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