Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
