Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
