you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
