addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize