my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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