I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of course I have a pirate flag
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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