yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize