That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
