naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All I want is dick and wine.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
