He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you will always have a special place in my vag
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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