Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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