RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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