North Korea, Best Korea!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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