I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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