I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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