do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
