nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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