White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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