I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
