All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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