She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
