How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
