I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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