if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
