Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize