brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
