I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
