i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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