I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
