Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Boobs speak an international language.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
